Self Gratification

Warning: This is not a RANT post and for PG.

I need to work for the family; I have to go home since wifey’s waiting; got to attend the barkada event as they will be waiting for me or they might talk of me when I’m not around, I have to report early because of meetings, I may be needed early in the office. And…. I have to learn new tricks to satisfy wifey. Admit it or not, more than ourselves, most of the time we live for others. Though they form essential part of our being but, still, most of what we do is for others. What if they’re not there by the time we need them?

The BASS is in isolation for more than three weeks now as Tin’s big event is fast approaching and I need it. Badly or else it may burst the h*ll out of me. Amidst control and several attempt to focus attention and thoughts, I can’t negate the need, I just can’t. Rather than channeling the undeniable energy into other forms which causes us to sin I’d rather resort to self gratification. Something that is so familiar since adolescent years. But is it okay to do that even if we are already in a relationship?

Self gratification is not wrong in any way or form, unless you wanted the five sisters more than the act with your partner. It is natural, even when we were young to have the natural inclination to “explore” ourselves. At some point we may have thought of inventing the whole idea. LOL. There will always be times when a woman just can’t be there for her man (during her menstrual cycle, pregnancy, or sometimes things or events that cause her to be emotionally stressed) and the “act” does not appear on top of her priorities. An understanding partner (like me :-D) naturally understands the situation and would always take the “matter” on my own hands.  

To satisfy my curiosity if this is normal, I found some readings that are quite reasonable enough. An article said that men engaging in self gratification are actually preparing for a fluid warfare. The egg-cell-getting-sperm is an elite corps within a vast army. In the same army are vast numbers of sluggishly swimming blockers, sperm whose functions is to hinder the progress of the egg-getter. Most sperm are there to fight, to make war not babies. The secret to efficient fluid warfare is the maintenance of a healthy balance between the fresh and the stale. If a man, married or into a relationship, never do self gratification, his ring-the-bells will not explode, but his ammo ducts is filled with elderly and uncompetitive ammunitions.  

More than taking precautions against possible unfaithfulness, some study says that men’s sexual imagination skills enhances during self gratification and our partner should expect a satisfying experience the following encounter.  In addition to venting the stale ones, we will inseminate battle-ready and fresher ammunitions.

The advice offered in There’s Something About Mary (the hair gel scene) is right. Don’t go on a date with full tanks, your body wants you to  greet a fresh partner with a smaller but more active corps of fluid warriors, a platoon of navy seals rather than massed ranks of slow moving infantry.   

‘Naf said. Cliché it may sound but the axiom one must have loved self in order to give love or must be happy in order to sow happiness is practical and true. We must be satisfied to satisfy.