Fretful Temper

Since kahapon, I am all geared for a battle. And has decided to unleash my retaliation. I surmised that it is time to put an end to what seems to be endless ranting of people behind my back.

For one, I was in the brink of bursting for my people's ineptness in delivering what they are suppose to do. They seethe all the time, but do nothing to prove their worthiness. Second, after months of hiatus in twitter, finally was able to log and learned to have been the flavor of someone's tweets in the past months.

Clad in full battle gears, I was almost set to spit fire as what I am accustomed to do when retaliating. Realizing what silence can inflict superbass decided to keep mum. Indeed this bible passage is very practical "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his souls from troubles." Proverbs 21:23.

Here are some of the tips I gathered as I contemplate.

• Seize a break. Cliché as it may, still counting to 10 or even a million works till you will be able to neutralize that burning sensation within. If this doesn’t work by all means bangasan mo na! 
• Dig up some space. Go somewhere else just to expunge that irritating face of someone you wanted to punch. Just until your frustrations subside. E paano kung kaaway mo mukhang aso? Nagkalat pa naman mga askal? 
• Once you're calm, express your anger. I am not so comfortable at having confrontations. Sometimes it is better to move on. But then it is healthier pala to express your frustration in a relaxed conversation. 
• Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets. Isn’t throwing punches a form of exercise too?
• Think carefully before you say anything. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues.
• Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
• Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. E.g. I-kaw ang may kasalanan. I-kaw kasi.
• Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
• Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse.
• Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal or in this case blog.

This is how temper works

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.